2022 Retrospect
This year, I decided to keep a long-form, running iPhone note to index what recurrent themes cropped up for me (rather, trends to be read in the voices of Aidy Bryant and Bowen Yang, obviously). It was the continuation of a different iPhone note project, one that captured my every fleeting obsession, clung to in an attempt to distract myself from March 2020 onward (its contents range from “making whipped cream from scratch” to “Downton Abbey” to “saying das vibes (German accent)”).
I’m sure there is something to be said about the monitoring of one’s monthly habits and interests (Jia Tolentino, please tell me), but as the process unfolded, a few weeks would pass and I’d naturally find myself reflecting on what I was gravitating towards. Writing it down made me feel like, “yes, I am in fact living a life that is mine.” Reading through it now serves as a gentle reminder that I loved a lot of things and felt a lot of pain (dramatic emotions, sure, but also there are a lot of bullet points that plainly read “neck pain” or “knee hurts”).
In review: it was a year, whatever that means. To borrow Spotify Wrapped terminology, my top artists in 2022 were “drinking extremely cold water, ice water even,” “toaster waffles again,” “talking about getting a haircut,” “the scent of Gain” and “eBay hunting for Lilith Fair merch but never buying it.” (Something I learned from Spotify Wrapped this year is that a lot of people in my life are streaming Chopin enough to land him in their Top 5s. So many people… running numbers for the nocturnes.)
To continue the scrapbook, here lies a collection of things, moments in the woods, a smattering of bright spots that mattered to me:
CORNELIA JACKOBS AT EUROVISION
This barefooted Swedish girl in her silly tinsel bandeau stole my heart. The precision with which she hits her casual hair fixing in front of the green/red circle, somewhat absurd in its simplicity, truly gave me a reason to get up in the morning.
THIS MOMENT ON WWHL
Blink and you might miss it, but Mario Cantone hating The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical on Watch What Happens Live is upper-echelon hilarity to me. I think my favorite part is Cantone is spewing his statements in a fashion that would suggest he is saying something scandalous and controversial on a global scale, when really he’s merely criticizing a musical that had a 16-week Broadway run based on a middle-grade fantasy novel. Someone please carve “I’ll say it. I’ll say it. Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief. Did you ever see that? It was the worst thing ever, I don’t even care. I was appalled. The set were sheets with graffiti. It was horrible. I don’t care. I’ll say it. You know me, I pull no punches. It was awful,” into my headstone.
What makes this even stupider is the one (1) singular musical theatre moment that ranked on my Spotify top 100 was a song from this musical, but I blame the Jimmy Awards.
TOP GUN: MAVERICK
There are some things I probably don’t need to tell you about, because you’re likely more than aware — the splashiest moments in pop culture seep into conversation and demand even Luddite attention: Renaissance by Beyoncé, the Funny Girl casting drama (a stretch, but not in my world), Julia Fox saying anything. I surprisingly loved Top Gun: Maverick so much, I already wrote about it, but I recently rewatched it with my family, and despite no massive screen or surround sound, and fully knowing how it all turns out, I was gripped by the final half hour once again. Movie of the year! And yes, I’m a card-carrying member of the “Hold My Hand”-for-Oscar lobby. It’s just what’s right.
TOO MANY GOOD SONGS
2022 was a great year for music (and I can’t stop thinking about Obama and his year-end list intern listening to Ethel Cain’s Preacher’s Daughter). It feels like an impossible task to decide which albums or songs were the best of the best, so instead, here are 100 very good ones. Only 2 Eurovision songs, 3 if you count Måneskin (and some do!).
THIS PEN
I love this Papier pen because it’s heavy, which makes whatever I’m writing feel more intentional and imbued with unexplainable importance. The cap also has a very satisfying click when you snap it shut. This pen? Mother. I’ll stop talking about the pen now.
AMANDA SEYFRIED IN THE DROPOUT
I could watch her on a 24-hour live stream, like Big Brother or the San Diego zoo does with pandas, just talking in that insane voice. I slurped up every last… drop.
AUDIOBOOKS (CONCEPT AND REALITY)
Yes, I both enjoyed the concept and reality of audiobooks so much this year. Sometimes I would be listening to an audiobook and have to quiet the thought, “I love how this is audio,” so as to not miss a plot point. Particular standouts were No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood and Heartburn by Nora Ephron read by Meryl Streep (the reading of it by Meryl is what makes it).
DILLY BEAN STEW, DUH
There is no day more special for me and my friend Aliyah than when we can hunter-gather all the required ingredients to make a trending Alison Roman recipe. Her dilly bean stew is simple and is (believe it or not) brought to life by the underrated queen known as cabbage. The recipe and its contents are “deceptively modest” in a way that made my kitchen feel like 17th-century eastern Europe, and moreover, made me want to be wearing wooden shoes. In future versions of the stew, I added kielbasa and my mind was blown the same way it was when I realized the twist reading Fight Club. Delicious!
STAY AND FIGHT BY MADELINE FFITCH
I read a lot of great books this year, but when I think about a favorite, I can’t help but return to Stay and Fight by Madeline ffitch. It’s maybe the most fiercely written novel I’ve ever read, tackling everything from living off the land impoverished to lesbian motherhood to forging family with abrasive people in an abrasive world. ffitch achieves an altogether immersive tale, rich with unusual, fully-formed characters I thought about for weeks after. I loved it, even when it was tough. Especially when it was tough. Among other 5-star reads for me were Negative Space by Lilly Dancyger and Inciting Joy by Ross Gay.
MY FRIEND CARL’S SUBSTACK
Love it. Brings me joy. Brings me to songs I’ve never heard before. Inspires situations where I’m sitting on a bench, not realizing my bluetooth headphones are not connected and I am actually playing “Love, ____” by Transit for all to hear. You should subscribe.
CHRISTIAN GUARDINO SINGING “DEAR GOD” BY SMOKIE NORFUL
As the last living live viewer of the once-captivating singing competition reality television program American Idol, I was the only person to see the pride of Long Island destroy this song, dedicated to his mother, and then promptly get eliminated. I’m also pretty sure I’ve embedded this same video in a past Substack, but anything important bears repeating.
ADMITTING TO MYSELF AND OTHERS THAT I LIKE FANTASY AND SPY STORIES
Hero’s journeys… ever heard of them? A very underground and chic idea. After years of only reading mostly punishing, dark memoirs for the sake of needing deep connection with what I consumed AND some brand of academic (elitist) cred, in 2022, I diversified my media diet with some good, old-fashioned fantasy (and more recently, SPY) stories. My brother joked the other day that any minute now, I’m going to start cracking open Tom Clancy novels and like, yeah, someone please pass me a thick pipe and a La-Z-Boy recliner – I am en route to becoming your DAD. I watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy for the first time at the beginning of the year and I loved it, and equally, I loved admitting that I loved it. Whatever cool girl veil I thought was cast over my personality has always been quite see-through anyway.
TELEVISION PROGRAMS MADE BY STREAMING SERVICE PEACOCK
Many times over the past year, I have found myself in the position of having to say “Girls5eva” out loud (and repeated at a slower pace) more times than one should, and for free. I have been on the frontlines, championing this app since BEFORE they acquired next-day availability for every Bravo franchise. While the service hasn’t quite found its footing with dramas (what I’ve seen of Bel-Air in ads is over the top to the point of parody and I could not get through Angelyne), it has found a sweet spot in comedy… peddling genuinely funny half-hour shows that NO ONE HAS SEEN. What hurts most is the streamer did not renew Girls5eva or Rutherford Falls, despite my incessant water cooler free advertising. This misstep proves to me that Peacock needs me more than ever. Not to mention the Pitch Perfect spinoff featuring its worst character… how far we have strayed from God’s light…
THIS (NOW DISCONTINUED) CANDLE
Sometimes I am moved to buy a candle, but am only able to rationalize it to myself if it’s on sale. The brand Homesick’s business model is nostalgia seduction, but unfortunately, no scent in their lineup is alluring enough to influence full-price spending from me (unless they made Liberal Arts College Dorm and it just reeked of Sobieski vodka, American Spirits, and beef burritos). When I read the description for “Montreal,” a place I’ve never been, I laughed. It used phrases like “wet cobblestone” and “fresh-baked bread” to describe its smell, which reader, it does not smell like. That said, it is lovely and got me through many cold, dark months. Sadly, it appears to no longer be for sale. Like Girls5eva, nothing gold can stay.
THE WORLD CUP
Something that was reframed for me in 2022 is that sports are actually theatre. Why didn’t anyone tell me? I went to my first-ever NBA game in February and was astonished by how much of what I was witnessing was basically a staged musical with different costumes, lights, and runtimes.
When the World Cup dropped (like an album, or a pair of Nikes), I decided to deal myself in because I love event television. I put most of the matches on “to have something on in the background” but would find myself quickly sucked in by the tension, the penalties, and the men dramatically wailing on the grass. I even went to a bar at 10 am on a Saturday to drink 2-for-1 mimosas and watch the United States play (Top Gun: Maverick, Tom Clancy novels, rooting for American sports… who am I? And why is it aggressively giving “patriot!”). To continue my streak of saying something obvious as if it’s a newfound discovery (a version of the Mario Cantone comments): Lionel Messi is a king. The goat. I understand the worship. I commune at his church. His fans are my family. Argentina winning this World Cup, in Messi’s last career opportunity to do so (c’mon… the STORY of that!), reminded me that I can be 100% happy for another person without needing it to impact my life. Not a single ember of jealousy was sparked — just pure, free-flowing love and admiration. Messi is my therapist! Messi is Brené Brown! With Messi, all things are possible! (This paragraph is mostly repurposed text messages originally sent to my friends, Khadijah and Zaynab. The greatest literature of all time started as texts.)
Last week, my twin brother turned to me while we were watching the Disney+ Idina Menzel documentary and said, “she’s kind of like Marnie, isn’t she?” (he is watching Girls for the first time) And I’ve never been prouder. A Christmas miracle, really. I hope the holiday season has brought you a similar gift, and that you have found many morsels of joy throughout your year.
Truly like all things I’ve ever attempted, I started this Substack strong and fizzled out a bit, not unlike a shooting star. No matter, I plan (not promise, plan) to be better in 2023. Thanks for being here.
Biggest stupidest love,
kaylasomething